Graduating

I apologize for the untimeliness of this post; I was a little busy graduating yesterday.

This week, I thought I'd discuss the ceremony and some thoughts about graduating and my high school school experience. Don't worry--I'm not going to go through a play-by-play of the ceremony, because that would be incredibly boring.

I always thought the day I would graduate would be glorious and I'd be filled with tears of joy for an entire 24 hours. Last year, when I watched the seniors of my school at their graduation, I did want to cry. Cry because I was happy for them. Cry because that was something I wanted so badly, and that it would be a rough year away.

I didn't cry yesterday though. I didn't even really come close. You know why? Because I was instead filled with complete joy. Raw and whole-hearted joy.

There was no better feeling than standing across the stage and looking into my parents' eyes. Just seeing in their eyes everything they had sacrificed for me to be able to graduate at that moment. Everything they could have had, they set aside for me. I thought about all of our shared disappointments and uplifts. Our trials and tribulations. And all I could think was I have never been happier in my life.

Some of my classmates walked across the stage as if it was a right to receive their diploma. A right for their parents to work so hard to help them through school. A right to an education. But I didn't. I knew everything my parents had dreamed of for me and worked so hard to achieve. I knew that millions of people all around the world would give anything to receive this level of education. I knew that this was a privilege, not a right. It was an honor. It was a dream and an expectation fulfilled. And for that, I was truly grateful.

As a result, I walked across the stage in front of 2,000 people with the biggest, genuine smile on my face. I didn't worry about tripping. I didn't worry about embarrassing myself. I didn't think about anything except being in that moment, because there is probably no drug that could produce that kind of high I experienced for those 2 minutes.

At the end of the presentation of diplomas, my classmates and I walked out of the auditorium before anyone else. And again, I couldn't stop smiling among the cheers and clapping. I felt I had left an enormous load off my mind back at that stage. It felt like pure happiness was just radiating out of me. As soon as we all got out of everyone's line of vision, we had our own celebration of high fives and cheers and running and jumping.

My friends, relatives, teachers, coaches, and everyone in between came to see me and wish me congratulations and tell me they were proud of me, etc. Some of my fellow graduates whom I had never had the chance to speak to before congratulated me as well and wished me good luck. And suddenly, I realized that there were many important words unsaid and possible great friendships and experiences that could have happened, but that didn't. And that is my only regret regarding high school, because some of those people I finally had the chance to talk to and have a nice conversation with yesterday could have been been very good friends.

If only I had spent a little less time studying, worrying, and stressing. If only I had spent fewer hours crammed in the corner of the study hall, whether I was actually studying or catching up on sleep. If only I could have broken out of my shy, reserved shell and had the courage to say hi. At the same time, not everyone at school wanted to be my friend, and perhaps that was a difficult lesson to learn, but it was a vital one. Still. I could have tried a little harder.

Other than that, I have no regrets. I worked very hard for everything and I stayed incredibly focused as my life took on some very sharp twists and turns. I realized my senior year that I really didn't need to work as hard as I did at everything, but even knowing that, I continued to work hard and push myself to do my best. There is a crazy satisfaction in knowing that you gave everything you had to something, even if it didn't give you the result you wanted or dreamed of. For that reason, I wouldn't change anything about my high school experience if I could.

One more thing. I am so incredibly thankful for the support I received from my friends and family throughout my high school education. I cannot tell you how many days I went into the gym and just flopped down on my favorite mat and lamented over my latest test grade or my fears of not getting into college. And just like that, my teammates and various kids of all ages were right there to encourage me and tell me it would all be okay and that they believed I could get into any school in the world (a little naive, but heart warming). Those days I would come home from a long day at school and log into social media to read nice messages from my closest friends. Those days that my favorite teachers would tell me I did impressive work. All of those moments lifted my spirits and helped motivate me to keep pushing and dreaming.

With that, that concludes my thoughts about graduating. It was the happiest day of my life thus far. The road through high school was mostly difficult, disappointing, and frustrating, but there were definitely some key life experiences and life-changing people sprinkled throughout. And now, I am excited to turn the page and begin a new chapter as I start college in just a few short months. It should be a pretty good read.